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Goodbye world, hello FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS

October 19, 2010

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS GOD DAMN GAME!

I stumbled upon FALLOUT 3 several years ago. My friend David, a lifelong fan of the series, was playing it on his X Box and toured me around the post-apocalyptic landscape of the game. I watched in amazement as he showed me the burnt-out America he was venturing across, full of monstrous mutations and psychotic, violent survivors. I remember looking in awe as his character was burned alive by giant fire ants.

“Yes,” I said. “Finally a game that understands me.”

FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS, the latest and biggest game in the series, debuts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more excited. On one hand, I shouldn’t become so involved in a video game. On the other hand, it’s FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS for God’s sake.

I know I’ll be sucked into NEW VEGAS just like I was sucked into FALLOUT 3. I’ve warned my friends (and especially my girlfriend) that I’ll be distant and hard to talk to. I’ll have that look in my eyes like my mind is elsewhere. That’s because it will be. My body may be in front of you but my spirit will be in the wastelands of the Mojave Desert.

Here’s the bottom line: I maybe – maaaaaaaaaybe – get excited for one or two games a year. I can’t remember the last time I was as excited for a game as I am for FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS. So yes, I may be fawning. Yes, I might be a bit (a lot) obsessive. Just let me have this, you bastards.

Besides, this’ll be better for everyone. Now that I have NEW VEGAS I won’t spend time yammering on about Christine O’Donnell or silly internet videos. I won’t drive up my water bill because I’ll rarely shower, I won’t empty my bank account because I won’t eat or go out, I won’t have a high power bill because lights will be unnecessary after my eyes adjust to the dim light of my TV.

Yes, FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS is good for everyone who knows me. You’re welcome!

 

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