Skip to content

Pedobear doesn’t want to hurt you, children

September 16, 2010

There’s been a lot of talk about our dear friend Pedobear recently.

For those who don’t know, Pedobear is this little guy to your left. He looks charming, right? Sure is. Only Pedobear is a pedophile. Yeah, awkward, I know.

Here’s another thing about Pedobear: he’s a god damn cartoon. A creation of the internet used to call out and mock any suspicious behavior.

Not so if you ask several news organizations. According to them, Pedobear is a living, breathing monster who wants to give your children candy and then toss them in the back of a van.

For those curious, take a read about the history of the bear. I’ve included a video from one of the confused news shows after the jump.

Dateline: Tulsa! A costumed man is killing molesting children. Is your child next? Most definitely!


Fox 23 would later retract their story or at least amend it, admitting that the man in San Diego handing out candy at Comic Con WASN’T ACTUALLY A PEDOPHILE. However, the damage had been done. All of Tulsa now fears Pedobear and similar stories are popping up all over the country, despite the fact that it’s a bunch of bull. Soon all the world will hide in terror from this over-sized, lovable internet meme.

In summation: no one is dressing up like Pedobear and molesting kids. The people molesting kids dress up like normal folks. That’s who you should fear, America, normal people! Just like I’ve been saying from the beginning.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s