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Sean Hayes Comes Out; Earth Stands Still

March 9, 2010

If I had that little siren graphic to denote breaking news I'd paste it here

Are you sitting down? You might want to sit down.

Sitting? Okay, good. Take a deep breath, dear reader. I’ve got some earth-shattering news for you.

Sean Hayes, beloved star of television’s Will & Grace, recently came out to The Advocate.

Forgive me if there are any typos, friends, but my hands are trembling from shock. Sean Hayes — the Sean Hayes — gay? Really?

Him?

There are times when a star’s coming out isn’t surprising. Rosie O’Donnell, for example, didn’t floor me with her admittance. Neil Patrick Harris was another star who didn’t rock the world with his revelation. But Sean Hayes…now I don’t know what to think? If I can’t trust my own instincts when it comes to a complete stranger’s sexuality, maybe I don’t know anything.

Here you were, reading the work of a man who couldn’t even tell Sean Hayes was gay. I’ve misled you, dear America, I’ve led you astray. You thought I was a man who knew the score, who understood pop culture and the world at large. But that’s just a bunch of hooey. I’m a huge fraud.

I’m a huge fraud and Sean Hayes is a huge gay.

If only there were some signs…

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